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April Fools
The Future of SLU
When the intrepid journalist Brian Corgi Boonius ’18 was driving back to St. Lawrence at 4 a.m. on Monday, he was driving quickly to make his 10:40 a.m. class. Somewhere in the Adirondacks, he reached a speed so fast that he managed to…
Preliminary Climate Survey Shows Campus Discrimination Non-Existent
BY JOSH MA
In an astounding turn of events, the office of Diversity and Inclusion reported that a preliminary report of the campus climate survey showed that discrimination at St. Lawrence University was virtually non-existent.
“Sure,…
Following the Harvard Template
St. Lawrence is experiencing a budget crisis, and the administration has been hard at work on viable solutions. Janice Albano, the acting Chief Financial Officer, has previously stated that the school needs to raise $12,000,000 in revenue…
Real Feminist Drink PBR: Trust Me I Own a Poster of Frida Kahlo
To be a good feminist, and I mean like, a really good feminist, which quite honestly is the only way to even be feminist, everything you do, eat, touch, look at, listen to, and yes, even drink, needs to be feminist. I know what you might be…
Vine Theme House Recruiting New Members
Hi, welcome to Chili’s! Are you 19 and never learned how to read? Looking for something to wake you up inside? Want to join a community that shares your love for freshavocado? The new vine theme-house—SLU Vines Undergrad, or SVU— would be a…
Red Sox Pick Up New Habits Before Opening Day
On Saturday, March 24, the Boston Red Sox played against the New York Yankees during spring training. When the umpires arrived at the field, they were handed pink tutus and informed that these would be their new uniforms for every game in…
LeBron James “Taking His Talents to Golden State” in the 2018 Season
The NBA World was shaken to its core late Tuesday night when ESPN’s Brian Windhorst dropped a bombshell report, outlining LeBron James’s alleged plan for this upcoming off-season to join the Golden State Warriors. The report states that…