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April Fools
Graduating Seniors to be Given a Squirrel with their Diploma
Seniors, get ready to go nuts. It’s no question that our beloved institution has quite the rodent problem these days. In an effort to combat the issues surrounding overpopulation here at SLU, the University has decided to give each and…
Dean Eaton to be Replaced by a New Dorm
After the latest meeting with the Board of Trustees and President Fox, the St. Lawrence University Housing Task-force (SLUHT) has decided to tear down Dean Eaton Hall and erect a new dorm in its place.
SLUHT’s decision to tear down the…
President Fox Becomes President Wolf with Recent Board of Trustee Decision
While on their spring break meeting in Cancun, the Board of Trustees met to officially re-designate President Fox as President Wolf. This is only the most recent ranking the University President has achieved but one of the most notoriously…
Dana Dining Hall to Serve Alcoholic Beverages this Cumming Semester
Dana Dining Hall is making monumental moves in their beverage and service offerings for this upcoming fall semester. Believe it or not, due to the fact that students are relentless in sneaking in their own alcoholic beverages and are…
CIIS Office to Offer New Study Abroad Program
Starting in the Fall of 2018, the Patti McGill Peterson Center for International and Intercultural Studies Office is set to introduce a host of new abroad programs located all over the globe and in different time periods. With the purchase…
North Korea Misplaces Missiles
The New York Times reported Thursday that North Korea appears to have lost its nuclear weapons during a routine missile test. Regime officials are said to be unsure of how all of North Korea’s 60 warheads disappeared, but the state news…
REVEALED: Austin Petersen Stole Dana Sprinkles
Austin Petersen, a Republican candidate for the US Senate in Missouri, revealed on Twitter that he was the one who stole the ice cream toppings in Dana, tweeting, “To the students of St. Lawrence, I stole the sprinkles, Oreos, and…
See-Through Dorm Rooms for Evangelical College Students
BY MARTY PELLITIER
On Monday, the Bob Jones University in South Carolina announced that they would be installing see-through glass residential rooms for all students in residence dormitories. The administration made this decision…