April Fools

St. Lawrence Administrators are under fire after a breach in security that leaked plans to construct an on-campus coal plant to power SLU’s Appleton Arena. The breach occurred when SLU Communications Minister Mike Gagliardi mistakenly…

Due to significant budget cuts, The Hill News will now make its own paper sourced from the trees on campus.  “We are really excited and proud of our team for coming up with this idea,” said Editor-in-Chief Matt Serrano ’26. After a…

Busted for PED Use  In a development sending shockwaves through the Division III running community, St. Lawrence University’s Nick Lyndaker ’666 has officially been stripped of his NCAA Indoor Mile Championship title following a…

The vivarium has long been held as a space of high regard for the level of ethical and useful research done by psychology students in its murky depths. The rats do not see sunlight for a week when they are received by the Psychology…

Campus Gets New Non-human Leaders It appears that cats have taken over St. Lawrence University. Well, it was only one cat, really, said witnesses who were willing to talk anonymously. Nonetheless, students appear powerless in the face…

Concerns Rising Over Use of Dangerous Spells  Walking down the street these days, one cannot help but feel a measure of disquiet that was not present even as little as a year ago. In certain neighborhoods, it is all you do to keep your…

Asbestos. You either love it or you hate it. Me? I'm an avid fan. Growing up in the Midwest, I had plenty of experience living with asbestos. I often reminisce on the golden days of lying upside on my childhood couch – my feet hanging in…

Graduation is the most important moment of our college experience. However, it's being held in Newell Field House for reasons that defy all logic. A place that feels less like a venue for marking the end of four years of hard work and more…