Editor’s Note: Notorious malcontent and expert flag-rater Miles Wilson ’22 takes a look at the 50 state flags of the United States, grading and judging them. Read below for hard hitting analysis and expert takes!
- Hawaii – 3/10
What are you? Part of the British empire?
- California 3/10
The second most overrated flag in the world. It’s literally a bear with the words “California Republic” under it. I don’t even think california is a republic.
- Vermont/Maine/Massachusetts/Washington/Montana/Idaho/North Dakota/South Dakota/West Virginia/Virginia/Nebraska/Nevada/New Jersey/New York/Wisconsin/Oregon/Michigan/Kentucky/Kansas/Connecticut/Delaware/North Carolina/Iowa/Illinois/Indiana/New Hampshire/Rhode Island/Florida/ Pennsylvania/Oklahoma/Missouri/Minnesota/Georgia/Arkansas/Utah – 0/10
These flags suck and are all the worst.
- Alabama – 1/10
It’s just Florida, but better. Which is crazy, because Alabama is actually just Florida, but worse.
- Mississippi – 0/10
We get it. You want to go back to the confederacy.
- Washington, D.C. – (9/10) 0/10
Not a state.
- Tennessee – 2/10
It looks like a circus ball.
- Wyoming – 3/10
It’s California, but with a buffalo instead of a bear. Which is cool, because there are about as many buffalo left as people living in your state.
- Texas – 5/10
A low effort American flag.
- Louisiana – 4/10
The flag just makes me think of your basketball team, which is just a depressing thought now that Anthony Davis is about to leave.
- Arizona – 0/10
It just reminds me of Imperial Japan. Take from that what you will.
- Ohio – 0/10
Not a rectangle. Which is stupid, unless it’s supposed to represent how fucked up your state is compared to the rest of them. Then it’d be perfect.
- Colorado – 3/10
Just finish the circle. I know it’s supposed to be a C, but that’s dumb. Just make it a circle.
- New Mexico – 9/10
This is actually just a really good flag.
- Maryland – 10/10
Perfect flag. It’s so great it almost distracts you from the rampant crime (Baltimore’s fault).