The 2018 Winter Olympic Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea are just three years away. It’s time we start speculating on team USA’s chances to take home the gold. But before we go there, it’s worth giving you some background. Who invented curling? It’s a bit unclear, but it was most likely invented in medieval Scotland. The sport provided an alternative to drinking away the brutal Northern European winters, and quickly spread to wherever the snow fell. Where do curling stones come from? Good question. Between 60-70% of curling stones come from Aisla Craig, a 240-acre, dome-shaped island about ten miles off the coast of Scotland. It’s one of only two locations in the world capable of producing the micro-granite needed to produce curling stones. Also, it’s filled with puffins. The island is up for sale – it’s listed at 1,500,000 pounds (Take note, investment club.) Is curling ever referenced in pop-culture? Indeed! The sport has been the subject of a Simpson’s episode, a music video for a Swedish death metal band, and it played a role in the Beatles’ 1965 film, Help!.

There is something for everyone here. What are team USA’s chances? In 2014, Team USA’s four-man squad consisted of a college senior, a civil engineer, a science teacher, and the manager of a Tex-Mex restaurant. The team took 9th place, beating only the Germans, who are apparently just the laughing stock of the curling universe. Their biggest financial sponsor is Dairy Queen, whose contribution is contingent on our squad being renamed the Team USA Blizzards (second part unconfirmed). Vernon Davis of the San Francisco 49ers was named the team’s honorary captain. Their official merchandise is sold via a Google Spreadsheet. Things are not looking up. Is there hope? Not really, but maybe. Participation in local curling clubs is growing in the United States, but it’s unlikely the next curling superstar will be groomed in a bar-league curling club. The real issue here is that the United States doesn’t send all-star curling teams to the Olympics the way we do with hockey and basketball. Instead, the teams are selfformed and self-governed, and do not necessarily involve the best the curling world has to offer. Some say sending an allstar team would taint the purity of the sport, but it is worth consideration. Either way, the curling world eagerly awaits what the 2018 Winter Olympics.