Let’s face it, Canton is a culinary wasteland. Sure, we have some decent takeout spots–don’t think for one second I’d turn my nose up at Indian Express or A1 Kitchen. Hell, I’ll even celebrate McDonald’s recent arrival to the party. (After all, where else can you gorge after midnight for pennies on the dollar while stoned to the point of hallucination?)
Other than that, though, you’re left with one option: pizza. Canton may be the pizza capital of the north country. Not because the pizza here is good- -it isn’t–but because there’s so much of it.
Just on Main Street, we have Sergi’s, Josie’s, and Little Italy. That’s a lot considering there are, like, five places to eat in total.
On the other side of town there’s Pizza Hut, and up until recently we had Domino’s, too–the closing of which remains one of the greatest injustices ever visited upon this town.
Yet, that is far from the number of pizza places in Canton. Basically, every gas station also serves pizza. And if you know anything about Canton, you know we have many, many gas stations. Last I counted, there were about 11. In fact, I think we have more gas stations than churches, which probably says something salient about American society. Too much of each, in my opinion.
Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that the gas station pizza here is shockingly good, and one in particular is better than any of the actual pizza restaurants. Of course, I’m talking about Sunoco’s pizza, conveniently located across from the Stadium Sports Bar.
I think Sunoco has the best pizza in Canton, not just out of the gas stations, but in general. For saying this I know I will have to defend myself against the quasi religious following Sergi’s has amassed both at St. Lawrence and in the Canton general area. So let me preface
by saying I’ve given that fam- ily more money than everyone reading this combined. Nor am I immune to the mysterious charm of a Bob’s Special.
But once you bite into Suno- co’s pizza, your life changes immediately. All the prejudice and snobbery you once held about gas station pizza and the kind of people who eat it evaporates in an instant. It’s like losing your faith, and a dizzying vertigo overwhelms you as you question everything you thought you knew.
For starters, Sunoco sells pizza by the slice, whereas Sergi’s, for some insane reason, does not. Real pizza connoisseurs know that by-the-slice is better than a whole pie, for the simple reason that reheated pizza develops a crispier crust. Almost always, the crust at Sunoco is deeply colored, even caramelized, and therefore has crazy flavor.
As for Sergi’s, the thick, dense crust just doesn’t appeal. The pies always have a sort of pale color, and as a result have a sort of pale flavor. Good pizza should be cooked right up until the second before the crust begins to burn, and in fact a few burn marks are welcome.
Because of the deeper cook on Sunoco’s pizza, the pepperoni atop the pie curls up crispy with a pool of grease inside, like an above-ground swimming pool. That’s the best way to prepare pepperoni, and Sergi’s’ by comparison falls literally flat.
Maybe I’m spending too much space comparing Sunoco to Sergi’s, but that’s because they mer- it the most attention. I do think Little Italy doesn’t get the love it deserves. In fact, I’d argue it has the best slice in town, but this is highly conditional.
In my experience, the pies they put out are wildly inconsistent. Also, it’s like $7 for two slices, which isn’t so expensive as to be prohibitive, but enough to make you blink and think “damn, okay.”
Most importantly, Little Italy closes up shop early, which to a college-aged crowd is the equivalent of not being open at all.
Josie’s for some reason just doesn’t really exist to me. I’ve had the pizza, and think it might even be slightly better than Sergi’s, but it never crosses my mind to go there. Not quite sure why. I don’t think it has ever really entered the public con- sciousness of this town. I mean, does anyone actually eat there?
The other gas station pizzas, from Stewart’s to Kunoco, are about as good as you’d expect, which is to say not at all. Actually, Stewart’s pizza is okay, but why would you go there for anything other than a chocolate milkshake or condoms?
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention you can get two big slices of Sunoco pizza for $3, or a large pie for $10. That’s literally insane, especially considering a large Sergi’s or Little Italy pizza will run you $25.
I could go on forever, but the point is, next time you’re delirious after a night at the bar, do yourself a favor and head to Sunoco. And don’t bother to thank me later.