Simply put, calling someone a simp is wrong. That conclusion is not a self-righteous rebuttal because I undoubtedly am one, nor the byproduct of some deontological argument. Instead, it is my response to the saddest thing I read this week; a CNN about children being bullied for being “simps.” To understand why I felt like I had to do this reaction, instead of letting the source material stand, it is because the piece itself was unbearable. From the perspective of someone so far removed, the author could never understand the authenticity, or lack thereof, of their stories. That salience of this naiveté was so much, you couldn’t help but wonder how it wasn’t satirical. Merely consider the decision to quote this therapist who rephrases the term as someone “SIMPly ahead of their time.” Or the lack of foresight when suggesting that “[the simp] could turn it around and say, ‘It’s tough being the lone soldier simp nice guy, who wants to join me?’” Every sentence, I either laughed or winced. It was filled with impractical suggestions from an adult, for children. Nevertheless, what parsed from the article was this message, which I believed to be true; we have to destigmatize simping. 

If you are unsure of what simping is, I find no better example typifies the college experience than Barstool’s video, “The Biggest Simp in America.” While undoubtedly this is where I lose credibility for some (simultaneously gaining the interests of Beta), I assure you it is worth watching. You will understand in those eight minutes the juxtaposition of the simping vernacular with a hearty sharing of toxic-masculinity, no doubt. The individuals in that video are, for better or worse, the stereotypical college boys, substituting warm Arizona for arctic Canton. However, that video lost its glamour for me. While intentionally light-hearted – Caleb Pressley is truly a star – the video unveils the stigma that being in a relationship, in such a manner, is a reprehensible thing. The idea being that simping takes you away from the boys. 

But such an idea on behalf of us is likewise naïve. Undoubtedly, labeling someone a simp is a lot more philosophical than we give credence to. Inherently, you are making moral judgments on where to balance doing right with the fear of being perceived as overdoing it. That is simply a moral dilemma. Ask yourself: How could a parent be expected to protect their child from being ridiculed for being nice? For caring? Are those not values we ought to instill in children? From the beginning that article could not be taken seriously, but it was nonetheless right. It had the right message but the wrong messenger because it’s a problem for us to diagnose. So, fellas, this becomes our challenge; we have to learn to express ourselves better, in meaningful and healthy ways. If that makes me a simp, so be it.