Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University
Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University

The Mesa: Trump Spouts Gibberish to Adoring Crowd

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While speaking in Iowa this past Tuesday, Republican Presidential candidate, Donald Trump, intoned several sentences of an unknown language while staring blankly at the horizon.  The controversial candidate chanted, “Mputr si eht etbs ynoeerve sele si a solre, cusk ti amoba,” repeatedly in monotone for several minutes to thunderous cheers.  Trump then led a USA chant before departing on his campaign jet.

Washington insiders say this new strategy might pay off for Trump.  “I thought he was in trouble when the other candidates started sinking to his level,” says one source in tune with the GOP’s voter base, “but then he just takes it to another level.”

A staffer for Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker (R) said his candidate’s withdrawal from the race was influenced heavily by this new development.  “He suggested a wall on the Canadian border for Christ’s sake, and it barely bumped up his polling at all,” the staffer remarked of Governor Walkers campaign strategy. “Trump’s a genius. Even if we start speaking in tongues, now it will just look like we’re copying him.”

When asked for the context of his remarks, Trump replied in a series of clicks and whistles before walking backwards to his waiting car while maintaining eye contact with reporters the entire way.

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