Hey kids. I’m back again for more. 

So, picture this. It’s Sunday morning, you’re just getting off a bender of a weekend. Java was Thursday then Fall Fest then the 21st Night of September, do you guys even remember that? Yeah, me neither. We had fun. I mean, no one thought Wale was going to show up, and then he did. I even heard my article from last week really stirred up some activity around campus. 

No one can deny it: we had a blast. But now, it’s Sunday morning and the past three days are really catching up to you. You’re feeling pretty bad and you roll up to the Pub at 2p.m., the whole squad eats egg O’Larrys and then slumps in ODY all night pursuing the academic dream. The week slowly creeps along, until you hear about Topless Spaghetti Dinner. Now that sounds exciting. And you’re right! It is freaking exciting, and it just happened this past Tuesday night! 

If you’re wondering what our Topless Spaghetti night entailed, here’s how it went down. It was Tuesday night. 7p.m. About 40 of us women and non-binary folk gathered in 3 University. We cooked up some spaghetti in a big pot– don’t forget the excessively large quantities of marinara and garlic alfredo sauce we dumped on top. 

I know you’re wondering about the boobs too. Yeah, there was lots of boobs and bras and shirts, because it’s less about the amount of skin you have showing. Do you want to know what it’s about? 

Here’s what Devon Ide, senior member of the Dub had to say: “I love topless spaghetti dinner because it’s fun to embrace my body as something that is beautiful and accepted. Topless spaghetti dinner aims to minimize the stigmas surrounding women’s bodies and we get to eat spaghetti while doing it!” 

It doesn’t have to mean the same thing to everyone. Senior, Kylie Clancy ’20 says, “Hashtag free the nip! Maybe it means liberating ourselves from patriarchal constraints.” 

Creating gender justice is a movement that is broad and includes both women’s empowerment and freedom of gender expression in all forms. Trends that critique simple aspects of women’s selves, such as what clothes they wear or how their hair is done, draws direct attention to the physical bodies. 

Instead, seeking to celebrate bodies and their uniqueness creates more space for not only women but trans women, trans men, gender nonconforming, and genderqueer people. 

Topless spaghetti dinner, in all its glory, is about celebrating, normalizing, and also desexualizing (especially women’s) bodies. If we don’t start the discussion about the ways in which bodies are viewed, especially negatively, throughout society, there will be no avenue for change. 

So yes, at this spaghetti dinner you can totally take your top off and you can put your spaghetti on your boobs if you want. Heck, you can even put spaghetti on my boobs if you want. 

But our boobs are our boobs and we deserve to hold all of the power within our own body, excluding all sexualization. 

You heard it here first: boobs are the new coolest accessory. Stay beautiful, Saints. And remember, Sunday scaries are just a state of being. Confidence is a state of mind. As always, you know where to find me. 3 University. Free condoms and lube at the door. 

Signing off, 

Hill News Boob Therapist