When I was touring colleges in high school I met a few seniors from St. Lawrence University who were talking about how upset they were to be graduating. As someone who was more than ready to leave high school and move away to college, I knew that if students felt that way about their school it was the right place for me. Once I arrived on campus and spent my first week with my First-Year Program, I realized why those seniors had felt that way. As a freshman, I already knew that in four years I would be devastated to have to leave this wonderful community. Everyone knows that this feeling is what SLU prides itself on and markets to future students. It is heartbreaking to say that I am more than happy and relieved to be done with this chapter of my life after all the emotional turmoil this school has put me through this year. The only thing more devastating than wanting to leave here on graduation day is knowing that I will leave resenting the place that I once called home. 

From the start of my final year here, SLU has failed time and time again to provide any semblance of a senior year experience, something I know many other colleges with a similar demographic have been able to do. It is, in fact, fully possible to foster a safe college environment during this pandemic while still recognizing and addressing the challenges for students. Instead of supporting us, St. Lawrence has sent out superfluous emails claiming to support our mental health by giving us two pointless “asynchronous days off” and expecting us to be rejuvenated after a Tuesday on which we are still assigned work. A student who expressed similar frustration in response to Dean Hagi’s “Mental Well-Being Check-In” emails, was met with the appalling response that mental health “becomes moot if we have an outbreak that could rapidly shut campus down and send everyone home.” To dismiss and excuse the harmful environment that the administration itself has created, simply on the basis that it would be worse if we all get sent home, is infuriating and unacceptable, and they should be held to higher standards (or at least the same standards they require of us). 

The disorganized and chaotic way potential COVID-19 outbreaks have been handled has irreparably broken any trust between the administration and its students, taking a major toll on their mental health. There have been emails sent out containing inaccurate information to justify certain quarantine decisions as well as emails directly targeting certain groups based on false gossip. The school has prioritized punishing students for eating outside their “family unit” in the pub when there are zero cases on campus, but when there is an actual positive case they have released groups from quarantine before testing negative, forced them to interact with students in order get their food, and then turned around and sent them home 3 days later. There is no consistency or logic to these decisions and the contradictory information, or lack of information to begin with, is damaging to both our academics and overall wellness.

The damage to our mental health extends to the other ways in which the administration has decided to respond to the pandemic, fostering a toxic environment on a campus that once prided itself on “community.” There have been campus wide emails sent out publicly shaming certain groups for violating school rules, knowing full well that one small group is not the lone perpetrator, while preserving the reputations of others. The official snitch form created, in which students can report each other for violating the Laurentian Pact, even includes the reporter’s name and has turned students against each other and damaged the trust and love we have come to rely on at SLU. As for the “Laurentian Pact Advisors” (LPAs), the initial email informing students of this new position on campus truly seemed like a satirical joke; we now attend a school with a paid position for students (one of the highest on campus, in fact) designed to report other adult students for violating rules, things a year ago we would have only read about in dystopian fiction. 

The coup de grâce, however, was the Commencement email update sent this past week. The absolute sadness and devastation felt by seniors on this campus after learning we will no longer have a senior week followed by our graduation ceremony had some students crying in the middle of their in-person Thursday afternoon classes. Realizing that we will be kicked out of our dorms the second our pen goes down at the end of our last final leaves the graduating class with one overwhelming feeling: this school does not care about us. Clarkson, who St. Lawrence has continually cited in their emails as the partner school they are working with to “stop the spread” and keep our community safe, is planning to hold an in-person graduation with four guests per senior. A safe, COVID-regulated graduation has nothing to do with a given date and we refuse to let this school use NYS guidelines to hide behind a decision that is clearly based on anything but. The Liberty League, of which our student-athletes are apart, has approved a spring sports season. St. Lawrence is also going to have an in-person Admitted Students Day and host an event for students that do not even go here yet (they get to bring a guest!). Clearly, in-person events are happening for groups who put in the effort to plan a safe execution. It has never been more clear that St. Lawrence is only concerned about the money, because the Class of 2025 will be the ones lining their pockets for the next four years. 

I implore those on the Commencement Committee, as well as anyone who has graduated from college, to put themselves in our situation. To consider how it might feel, after a year of quarantine, isolation, and zoom, to be attending the “graduation” this school has put on for us. Instead of experiencing the relief, pride, and happiness we deserve to feel after 4 difficult years, we will be stressed, exhausted and side-tracked with an entire week of finals beginning the very next day. After airing these grievances, St. Lawrence has told us our Sunday morning graduation can act as a “study break” before final exams, which is both insulting and demeaning after all the hard work we have accomplished. We were also somehow told that having it on the original date would be “emotionally difficult for everyone.” No. What will be emotionally difficult will be deciding between attending my joke of a graduation or studying for my four final exams. The only worse decision this school could have made would have been to not acknowledge our graduation from college at all, which is very close to what is actually happening on April 11th. The Commencement email sent to the senior class shows no empathy and expresses the absolute bare minimum effort put into the ceremony, neglecting to even have a virtual speaker. The only input the class of 2021 was given is whether or not we care about having bagpipes at the “event.” We are fully aware that similar sized institutions in NYS were provided with a survey where their senior class could provide preferences regarding the details of their graduation including dates, speakers, and importance of certain aspects of a typical ceremony. My outrage and shock following the description of our “special event” came as a result of having much more faith in a school that was supposed to act like a family.

Not only has the school robbed us of our senior year experience, they have stolen our thousands of dollars in tuition, donations, and fundraising. The graduation date was already moved up and adjusted due to COVID-19, leaving students with the reasonable impression that it would not be pushed up and rushed only weeks before it was set to take place. Seniors who do not live within driving distance have flights booked based off the intended April 25th date that are non-refundable. Where are the thousands of dollars we have given this university that are intended to fund a week-long celebration of the seniors that ends in a massive graduation ceremony? I, like many others I’m sure, feel extorted and completely helpless because St. Lawrence can take our tuition while also denying us the services it is supposed to provide… talk about false advertising. If St. Lawrence is really going to take away our graduation, then at least give us the refund we are fully entitled to. 

For three years, I believed I had made the best decision of my life to attend St. Lawrence University. I still would never go back and change a thing because it has brought amazing people and experiences into my life, but I never thought I’d say I wish I got to graduate from Clarkson University. Personally, I can no longer promote St. Lawrence University to anyone as it is clear now how little the administration cares about its students. The school was correct in claiming this “hard reality and different format will somehow serve to unite and strengthen” our class. We have, and will continue to, push back against these terrible decisions. You have alienated 594 alumni from the Class of 2021, and I, for one, am sad and disheartened to be leaving no longer proud to be a Laurentian.