At the last advocates training, I was one of two male-identifying participants in group of about 30 people. Here’s why that is a problem, and why every person on campus should consider signing up for next weekend’s session. 

Advocates training is about more than holding the phone, wearing the sweatshirt, or going to meetings. In fact, none of these things are required or even expected of people who complete the AWARE training. Some would say that holding the phone is a responsibility that should be entrusted to women whenever possible since, statistically speaking, survivors who call are most likely to be women themselves. 

So, in that case, why should guys bother with the training? Well, AWARE training isn’t just about preparing people to be official advocates on the phone. The things you learn in those three days are valuable in everyday life. In the month or so since being trained, I’ve already used some of the strategies I learned when talking to survivors, or even just friends going through difficult times. Having the skills and knowledge to productively and empathetically engage with people who have suffered a traumatic event is critical for people regardless of their gender or their intention to be an active member of the St. Lawrence Advocates organization. 

Besides learning skills to communicate with people in times of crisis, AWARE training also focuses on explicitly defining things like rape, stalking, manipulation, and dating violence. The knowledge to recognize these things can be critical in removing yourself, helping a friend, or helping a loved one escape from one of these situations. In addition, the reality is that various kinds of discrimination and objectification are deeply ingrained in our society. AWARE training may help you develop better personal habits! As a guy, I personally believe that the male-identifying demographic at St. Lawrence has the most room for improvement in our behavior—making AWARE training all the more important for men. If you feel confident in your own knowledge and behavior, that’s awesome! But there is always more to learn. 

A lot of pressure has been put on the St. Lawrence administration to reduce the rate of sexual violence here, and more appropriately punish perpetrators. Students have every right to demand this, but there’s work to be done on our end too! Getting trained as an advocate is a productive step every student can take. A huge part of changing St. Lawrence’s culture will come from a lot of small choices by informed students. Things like helping someone realize their relationship is unhealthy, calling out gender discrimination, helping a friend realize that they may be inadvertently objectifying someone, or being an active bystander, are just as important as protests and open forums. If a greater percentage of the student body has the knowledge to do this and commits to actively creating change every day, campus will slowly and surely become a safer and happier place. 

Even though men are statistically less likely to be victims of sexual violence, we still have a responsibility to be a part of the solution. It’s a cliché thing to say, but working together is the only way we as students can expect to make change happen. The ball is rolling, but the best momentum comes from a lot of people pushing. If you are reading this, especially if you are male-identifying, please consider signing up for advocates training Nov. 12-14!