“I write with the disappointing news that St. Lawrence University has cancelled all off-campus programs for the spring 2021 semester due to the COVID-19 pandemic.” That was the first line of the email that sent me spiraling. 

At the start of this year, I honestly did not have much hope for my dream of studying abroad in France. Yet, as this semester progressed, I felt the likelihood rising, a Sakai page being created for those planning on going to Bordeaux in the spring, other abroad programs being cancelled while ours held strong and the Center for International and Intercultural Studies [CIIS] grant applications still in place. The email sent on Oct. 13 came without warning. Not only was there the immense disappointment at my semester abroad being cancelled — which, though sad, is simply an uncontrollable misfortune of the pandemic that cannot be blamed on the university — but I was also given only three days to make the decision of what to do now that my plan for the year was thrown out the window.

Suddenly, I had to choose whether the summer or spring semester was my best option; rather, the CHANCE at spring on campus. This weighty, complex decision deserves appropriate thought, input and research, but I found myself scrambling to get the information and advice I needed, especially since we are finding out after a lot of spring internship application deadlines have passed; I feel like I could have enjoyed the exploratory and intriguing opportunities of the summer semester had I been afforded enough time to prepare for possible spring opportunities, but the university waited until the last possible second to make a decision, leaving those affected by the decision panicked to restructure their year.

So, what now? I am currently going to be on campus in the summer, but am floating on the waiting list for spring on campus next to the hundreds of other names of students desperately hoping for a spot. With spring class registration quickly approaching — and more and more internship application deadlines passing by — I hope a final decision can be made soon. I have been in a state of limbo, as so many others as well, since the pandemic started. Even though I won’t have all the answers of what to do, what the world will look like and the state of COVID-19, the idea of slight stability at knowing which semester I have would give me at least some piece of mind. For now, I suppose all we can do is prepare for either outcome. For my fellow students panicked in the wake of spring abroad being cancelled, our year may not be what we hoped, but make the most of it. See you this summer… or spring or something.