Student Goes Abroad, Doesn’t Post a Single Insta
News broke earlier this week of a strange hiccup in the status quo of the SLU social media circle, and the sisters are quaking. An anonymous individual recently returned from a semester in Europe, which by law entails venturing amongst all the most popular cities, aesthetic walls and rooftop bars; yet, none of these events seemed to be documented on the various platforms of said individual. Not even a mirror pic. The entire campus community seems to be baffled by this recent discovery and is grieving the loss of a now fruitless feed.
Without these pictures, people are left pondering how the student will fill up their scrapbook, update their desktop screen-saver and send heartfelt letters to their newfound abroad lover(s). The University’s Media Relations department has given no official statement.
However, we expect they are truly disappointed in a missed opportunity to really embrace the culture and be present in a picture-perfect moment. What were they even up to? Trying to learn a new language?
A heart wrenching rumor has been circling through the gossip sphere that the student actually dropped their phone in the Trevi fountain while taking a boomerang and had to rely on a Fujifilm Instax Mini Instant Polaroid Camera in the color millennial pink to capture the remainder of their academic excursions. But not everyone is entirely convinced, seeing how the student was caught donating their Oktoberfest garb to the Barn Good Thrift Store on campus. It’s unthinkable that someone would take the time to travel to Munich, Germany with intentions of enjoying large beverages and various meats, without a single snap. The important news is that the student is alive and well. They survived and the campus congratulates them on keeping their following-to-followers ratio intact during the leave of absence.
The university posted a travel tip on Pinterest that recommends that, moving forward, students should bring a backup phone with them when traveling across the pond to ensure that not a moment goes unposted. Think it’s unnecessary? Imagine standing in front of the Eiffel Tower and having nothing to show for it. The second travel tip reminded students: phone eats first, SLU students eat second.