BY: GRACE BODKIN

STAFF WRITER

I sometimes turn into a freshman at the pub and wait by the counter for my food. I stand there like a dog, eyeing every order, and practically shake the pub workers hand when it appears. Yes, I deserve the cool kid award a thousand times over, and in this case, the hunger award.

But in those times when I do linger like a child, I witness what I would classify as the people watching of food. Each order is as distinct as the person ordering. In my head, I can usually map out an image of the individual about to fetch their order before they do. While I will admit that this is judgmental, it also proves to be entertaining and telling. When is the last time you saw a football player order a gluten free quesadilla with a side of broccoli?

Yet, sometimes I am thrown off my game. In some cases I am surprised by the oddity of an order, but often more by person grabbing it. Usually this occurs on Saturday or Sunday mornings when a grilled cheese and a pancake might feel completely necessary, and we are all a little more susceptible to greasy food cravings.

Primarily anyone that orders two of anything means business. You do not write “2 Dr. Feelgoods with fries” on a slip if you are feeling iffy that day. No judgment here, I’m just impressed you went for it right off the bat.

However, some orders are completely lose me. I am looking at you bagel, breakfast wrap and chicken finger combo. Do you mix those all together? Does that taste good???

Then there is the classic any food, plus French toast sticks. This person also is not fucking around. They understand that French toast sticks are not really filling any nutritional category, but they also do not think twice about skipping them. The same goes for that random hash brown just hangin’ out next to unrelated food. I respect your meal choices.

I have also realized that there are about five people at SLU that order things that no one else knows you can order. Black bean burger with spinach? Falafel wrap? That one breakfast sandwich with tomatoes, spinach and cheddar where you think, WHY did I not come up with that? These students are either secret masterminds or previous pub workers. I would argue the former. They know to keep their friends close and their paper slips closer in fear of word getting out.

I love to shamelessly copy those orders that hit the nail on the head. But even better is when you can tell one person’s order just got everyone going. One grilled cheese with pesto just made four people decide what to have for lunch.

In conclusion, I might be the only person on campus that can be entertained by odd pub orders. But something about the specificity and strange combinations justifies doing the awkward wait-around, at least every once in a while.