We are all guilty of using the age old excuse when we are called out on our shameless flirting, procrastinating that essay, and unlimited bags of chips in bed:  it’s self care!. Not to hit you with the hard and cold truth or anything,  but that is not self care. If you are genuinely surprised by this revelation, then perhaps you are now wondering what self care actually looks like. 

Unfortunately only you can answer that question for yourself, because a self care action has to be in response to your personal needs. For instance, I recently sacrificed two episodes of American Horror Story in order to get eight hours of sleep, a rare experience for the average college student. Self care isn’t just about sleep or face masks though; there are actually 5 different types of self care that you need to practice to live a healthy, happy life. 

Physical Self Care

Ah, yes. This is possibly the most obvious (yet sadly ignored) type of self care there is. Humans tend to “ borrow” from their physical health in order to satisfy more pressing needs. The most common examples include not walking or stretching all day to cram for a test, binge drinking, sacrificing sleep for school or homework reasons, etc. I’m not here to shame you, but I do want to remind you that prioritizing your physical health is one of the easiest ways to improve your mental health and sense of self. 

The three most important types of physical health care are exercise/healthy eating, hygiene, and grooming. It is important to note that excercise can be as mild or intense as you want it to be, and a healthy diet does not have to be restrictive (I eat twizzlers on the regular). Practicing good hygiene with regular showers, dental upkeep, and clippin’ them nails just ensure that you’re taking care of yourself, which makes you feel better about yourself in general. As for grooming, it can be as extensive as you want it to be, with regular haircuts, plucking your nose hairs (no judgment), or wearing clothes that fit you well and make you feel saucy. 

2. Emotional self-care

This one is a little less straight forward, because it reall depends on your personal needs. However, there are some general ideas that can help you get on the right page emotionally. The first step is to acknowledge your emotions. You can do this in your head, by talking outloud to yourself or a therapist, or writing it down in a journal. This helps you keep track of how you’re feeling and look for patterns of what could be triggering your more negative emotions. 

The second step is finding those triggers and eliminating them. This is the deep, difficult part of true self care. For you, this could mean cutting toxic people out of your life, deleting social media, or  changing your self-talk. It’s hard stuff, but I guarantee that if you give it a real go, you’ll feel better!

3. Psychological self-care

Not to be confused with emotional self-care, psychological self care is more about the long-term mental health. For most people, this means staying true to themselves and prioritizing their mental health. If you are lucky enough where your mental health doesn’t have a hug effect on your life, this type of self-care might take a back seat for you. However, this is usually the best place to start for those who find themselves feeling like the world has dropped out from underneath them.

Some of the simple, savvy ways to start practicing psychological self-care are: finding a therapist, destigitizing and taking medication if it has been suggested for you, finding a hobby to fufill you, and focusing on your needs first before others. 

4. Spiritual self-care

No, you do not have to be religious for this one. Sprituality does not require that you worship God, Allah, Buddha, or mother nature. It simply means that you are getting in touch with your inner self, which is the part of your consciousness that is not connected to the material world. This could be the voice in your head, your gut feeling, or the part of you that makes your heart burn when you see acts of injustice. It is the place where you derive your inner strength and sense of self, which is essential because it defines how you perceive the world around you.

To be in tune with it, you simply have to find what fufills you the most in regards to your purpose. If you don’t feel that you know what your purpose is yet, it doesn’t mean you don’t have any (you do). It just means that you have to do some soul-searching to figure out what you need to be happy. 

5.Social self-care

Personally, this is my favorite type of self-care. People like to say that social relationships aren’t as important as academic endeavors, but this is simply not true. Many professionals consider a sense of belonging to be one of the fundamental needs of  life. This doesn’t mean that you need to forfeit your values to make friends or be an extravert, it just means that you have to nurture your closest relationships the way you nurture yourself. Family, romantic, and  peer relationships are fundamental in understanding who we are and what’s important to us. The people who care most about you are also great people to talk to, and generally serve as a mirror when you need it the most. Believe it or not, hanging out with your friends and calling your mom are just as important as flossing or eating your veggies. Who knew?

With these self-care tips in mind, remember that balance is important in achieving a healthy lifestyle. Too much time spent with your friends and dwelling on your emotions can be just as hazardous to your health as binge drinking and toxic friends. Stay true to yourself and listen to your body because it knows more than you do about what your needs are. Self Care is a science!