A skeletal feline… A polka-dotted bald lad… A boogying Northface puffer model tearing up the dance floor… Meatball au d’oeuvres… An anarchist Margaret Thatcher… To quote three of the esteemed Java Barn housemates, “I think this might be my favorite Java show.” How apt.  

Last Thursday night featured two star-studded consecutive sets from two New York City indie-rock acts: Cab Ellis and Telescreens.   

The opening act, Cab Ellis, originated as a solo rap act helmed by Lead Singer Connor Abeles while studying at Emerson College in Boston, Massachusetts. Over the past 8 years, Abeles left Boston for New York and developed a dedicated sextet of NYC’s most proficient alternative rockers. Much like their headliners, Cab Ellis’ sound has evolved from its early years into a rich art-rock-inspired punk act akin to Jeff Rosenstock, shame, and Black Country, New Road.  

Telescreens returns to the Java stage after their prior appearance in March 2023. This fall, St. Lawrence University is only their second stop of the “Stare Wide” Tour to promote their recent EP of the same name. Lead vocalist and guitarist Jackson Hamm began the project as a student at the Clive Davis Institute of Technology at New York University alongside peer producer Alex Bean. Their musical journey continued with an evolving set of bandmates to perform post-quarantine gigs around lower Manhattan, finding a steady string of gigs at The Mercury Lounge on the Lower East Side. Many of the band’s early electronic-heavy singles are still available on Soundcloud for listening pleasure. Since their 2020 LP, “The Return,” their sound has become synonymous with the alt-rock scene of The Backseat Lovers, Cage the Elephant, and Alt-J. 

By the opener’s introduction, the crowd was brimming with anticipation. Fans from across the North Country, most notably Telescreens groupies and Clarkson University refugees, flocked to the Java Barn for a night to remember. One profound patron even trekked from the outskirts of Lewiston, Maine! SLU sophomore Amelia Bernstein ’26 proclaimed, “I’m so excited for this Java. I heard Telescreens last year; I love them. I’ve been listening to the opener. They’ve got a groovy sound, and I love them.” Pure, sheer excitement had overcome the diverse university community.  

Abeles was clearly the crowd favorite of the night. His immaculate — or rather emasculate — 

stage presence emulated the most exuberant Mick Jagger-ism backed by the lyrical flair of a translucent Todd Rundgren track.  

The show soared past all preceding expectations with boisterous bombings of punk-rock brio and the tense suspense of affluent androgyny. The whole night felt like a true send-up to the late-1970s CBGB scene in Manhattan’s East Village. Crisp cigarette billows, brazen vocal rasps, attempted stage dives, tastefully trim trombone solos and sumptuous shout choruses on par with Duke Ellington’s level of luxury.   

Between primordial heaves of lust and awe, an anonymous audience member, known to their peers as “Steak ’25,” was overheard expressing, “It’s loud and good and not enough people,” before erupting with “What the f*** is going on?! Have you been watching?!”  

Yet, I must confess the enigmatic tsunami of angst and hysteria of Cab Ellis took a load on my psyche. I stayed for the initial two songs of Telescreen’s set of head-banging alternative anthems but quickly fled to the solace of a packet of Jack Links Steak Bites from the Northstar Cafe. There I remained playing a disillusioned Uno game until Telescreens performed their finale. In those brief fading minutes, I saw the patriotic marvel of our American flag colors shining upon Telescreens’ kinetic mien. Their carnal synth solos and panicking drum fills ruminated throughout those last fleeting moments of a near-perfect Java Thursday.   

Any warm-blooded citizen not in attendance truly missed out on an epoch-making night soon to be archived for millennia in the pantheons of inebriated young adult scholars across the North Country.  

With that, I shall conclude with the wise words of two very special SLU seniors. Java’s sexy saxophone machine Cara Monteleone ’24 clamored with grit and gusto, “I’ve never had a better night at Java Barn Music. This day is the best day of my life.” But, the foremost message of the evening was cemented by the “slam-dunk punk with a little bit of spunk,” Liya Yussabaliyeva ’24’s bright-eyed call to action, “BE THERE OR BE SQUARE!!!”