A couple of weeks ago, my roommate and I screened a lesser-known A24 film titled “First Reformed” (Schrader, 2017). We didn’t fully know what to expect—it was slower-paced, with lots of long-shot takes and seemingly pointless artistic camerawork meant to burgeon the aesthetic value of the movie. One detail, however, piqued our interest right at the outset: the protagonist is a priest, played by none other than our generation’s beloved Ethan Hawke. Hawke is well-known for his roles in films like “Dead Poets Society” (Weir, 1989), “Before Sunrise” (Linklater, 1995), and “The Black Phone” (Derrickson, 2021).

The narrative of the film “First Reformed” follows protagonist Reverend Toller (Hawke), the pastor and caretaker of a small, historically significant church in upstate New York. Toller lives a relatively quiet and utilitarian existence, until one of his parishioners, a young pregnant woman named Mary, comes to him seeking counsel for her husband Michael, a staunch environmentalist who is adamant in his desire to not bring children into the world. Toller agrees to see Michael, and upon their meeting, Michael explains in detail why he doesn’t believe it is morally acceptable to raise children on a planet expiring as a result of human activity. Shortly after their first conversation, Michael ends up committing suicide, and although Toller remains faithful, he begins to question his role (and the role of the church) in conserving the environment. Eventually, Toller enters a downward spiral of existentialism, and after receiving a negative health prognosis, makes plans to publicly kill himself at his church’s reconsecration service in the hopes of drawing attention to the environmentalist cause.

The film itself is obviously cinematographically accomplished. It makes use of unique aspect ratios, symmetry, and camerawork to reinforce the themes present in the story and establish the specific visual aesthetics typically associated with (and expected of) A24 films. What was more impactful for me personally, however, is how “First Reformed” portrays the topic of religious guilt (or if you were raised Catholic like me, Catholic guilt). At his core, Reverend Toller (just like many other individuals of the faith, parishioners, and clergy both) has difficulty processing his guilt. He feels bad for not being able to stop Michael from committing suicide, for being attracted to Mary, and for contributing to the general decline of the environment.

Despite the darkness inherent in Toller’s struggle, it was validating for me to witness a devout figure grappling with the same issues I had as a practicing member of the Catholic faith. Regardless of whether you examine “First Reformed” from a religious lens or a nonreligious lens, it encourages you to question your convictions, just as Toller does his. It defies Hollywood conventions for a film to directly challenge an audience in that way, and for that reason alone, I admire “First Reformed” greatly. It’s not action-packed, nor does it feed the plot to you—there’s some thinking involved. “First Reformed” is a vegetable in the film world—it might not be the most entertaining or flashy, but it’s certainly good for you.