Photo via St. Lawrence University

Here is a list of facts (declarative statements, what have you) concerning this past week at the Java Barn. There were two shows, Open Mic Night and Mister F:

•Two members of Mister F are brothers, the drummer and the bassist. They do not look like each other. The guitarist looks like the bassist. The guitarist and the bassist are not brothers.

•The guitar player joined Mister F this past January. This was his first 3 hour show playing two sets.

•The keyboard player has magic fingers. The lighting effect played off and upon the magic of his fingers.

•Java patrons did not find it in themselves to respect the men’s bathroom. There were 20 cans in the toilet. Java staff member Trixi fished them out of the toilet at 2:13 a. m. Thank you, Trixi.

•Mister F is a jam band. Few of their songs have vocals. This is a testament to their jam-ness.

•One of their few numbers with vocals was Bohemian Rhapsody. It was played at 1:15 a. m.

•Mister F was real life. Mister F was not just fantasy. Mister F neither performed nor played a landslide to be caught in. (Minus the cans in the toilet mentioned above.)

•Java patron caught rubbing (grubby) drunk hands on pants before delving into snacks at 11:13 p. m.

•Alex Keightley 16’ did not eat any of the snacks for reasons mentioned in the above statement.

•A hula hoop was stolen at approximately 12:24 a. m. It was returned sometime after. Theft is considered ‘Sinner’ in Laurentian vocabulary.

•Java patron broke a bottle in their pocket and proceeded to drop bottle on floor at 1:12 a. m. Bottles have united, and kindly ask that you never ever do that again.

•Will Havens ’18 received a free sticker from unknown party at 11:42 p. m. According to sources, Havens was thrilled.

•Skateboard stolen at unknown time. Returned to Java house at unknown time.

•Intoxicated Java patron walked on stage and started playing on the drums at set break. Mister F kindly asked patron in question to remove himself from the center of attention, and the large set of expensive instruments.

•Wednesday night the Java Barn hosted both Cheese Club and Open Mic(rophone) Night from 9 p.m. to 2 a.m..

•Elliot Boyd ’18 is the up and coming sound tech for the Java venue. Boyd tested the waters at said Open Mic. You go, Glen Coco.

•Bro/Metal/Minor Street/ “all those guys” band, The Stumps, has first ever fifth annual gig at Open Mic at 1:12 a. m.

•Harrison Cobb ’17 and John Miller ’16 sang High School Musical’s “We’re Breaking Free” at 10:45 p. m. They did not know the words, as well as the rest of us who were re-living sixth grade when we were too weird to have friends.

And there you have it