Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University
Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University

Sign Your Love Life Away Today!

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By JENNA MEAD

STAFF WRITER

Due to the increased popularity of reality television shows featuring young and beautiful cast members, MTV has announced plans to film an 18-episode season of LIBERAL HeARTS. The shows plan will launch a series of episodes at small liberal arts colleges following the love, lust, and loss of college dating.

MTV is currently accepting casting applications for the show. The show looks to reflect the reality of what has always gone on at SLU. The school was chosen for the series’ first location because of its high rate of married alumni. The network seeks to answer the question of why? Why is it that a dumpy downtown, often referenced as “sticky,” club can serve as a meeting ground for soulmates? Do the below-zero temperatures force cabin fever remedies such as handholding and poem writing? Or maybe it is the shared experience of a Titus night that can forever bond two individuals?

The network has vowed to remain unbiased and not interfere with the natural dating grounds of SLU. But as a current student, I would like to voice concern that the program is seeking to find answers where the trend may not be forming. SLU is no longer the love shack it once was. I still believe we are fulfilling our natural desires to the same extent, but as a whole I think the student body has accepted the no commitment “this is casual” hook-up.

To be cast as a starring character, MTV asks you to send a headshot and three interesting facts about yourself. Yes, that is as deep as they are looking to get on their choices. A spokesperson for the show spoke with me and her response to my question of what type of people she was looking to cast was, “Young, hot and prone to having to call her ex-boyfriend.”  The cast members will be moved into a theme house so that their daily actions can be most easily captured. The house will host numerous theme parties and, spoiler alert, the first is “Scandalous.” Yes, that is the theme itself. Dress accordingly.

Even if you are not interested in being a cast member, all students will benefit from the new hot tub that will be installed on the third floor of the Student Center. The show presented the lucrative financial benefits of the show to the school’s Board of Trustees, and the chair responded with “Hey, looks like we can afford to divest now.”

In my media critic’s opinion, I can already tell the show will be a standout. LIBERAL HeARTS will provide extremely entertaining television, with the combination of let loose spring fever and spring break’s lasting bronze. It will more likely give viewers the key to finding “the one night stand,”

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