Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University
Established in 1911 at St. Lawrence University

Following the Harvard Template

0

St. Lawrence is experiencing a budget crisis, and the administration has been hard at work on viable solutions. Janice Albano, the acting Chief Financial Officer, has previously stated that the school needs to raise $12,000,000 in revenue over the next three years. The school has acknowledged traditional methods are insufficient.

Luckily, the trustee Budget and Finance Committee has proposed a solution: allowing students to financially sponsor their grades. As any student will say, the grading scales employed by professors are stringent, and it’s hard for non-traditionally motivated students to attain the 4.0 necessary to succeed after their time here. The trustee Budget and Finance Committee said in their report that “students should be given alternative ways to succeed on our campus that don’t require academic excellence.”

The trustees also see an opportunity to elevate St. Lawrence, taking a cue from Harvard University’s systematic selling of grades. Though immediate budget concerns persist, a culture of grade selling could set St. Lawrence up for the prestige (and endowment) of Harvard, the oldest institution of higher learning in the United States. If St. Lawrence developed the reputation of a haven for academic lenience, we may soon expect the substantial gifts enjoyed by Harvard. Undergraduate students attending Harvard University enjoy an A- median grade, though the most common grade is an A, according to Harvard Crimson, their school newspaper. Though data is unavailable for St. Lawrence, an informal poll of students indicated a lower average here.

St. Lawrence is also ripe for this program because of the density of wealthy students. According to The New York Times, 7.2 percent of SLU students come from families earning $630,000 or more per year. Undergraduate enrollment is about 2,400, which means 168 students fall in this bracket. If each of those 168 students paid an additional $12,000 a semester, revenue would increase by more than the $4,000,000 per year currently needed.

If this seems like a lot, consider just the price of admission to Harvard. President Trump’s son in law, Jared Kushner, is the perfect example. His father, noted real estate developer and convicted felon Charles Kushner, pledged $2,500,000 to Harvard shortly before Jared was admitted. This donation cleared the path for Jared to graduate with honors and underachieve his way into the White House. This kind of professional excellence would elevate St. Lawrence into the national spotlight, attracting more students with deep pockets to party their way through four years in Canton and become generous alumni as nepotism propels them into the upper class.

The trustee Budget and Finance Committee recognizes that this program is slanted toward the wealthiest students but assures that it will help the entire student body. “Lower-class students already have to work harder to be admitted, facing a litany of disadvantages. Without the ability to pay for private high schools, have access to elite college counselors, or afford SAT/ACT prep courses, lower-class students admitted to St. Lawrence already know how to work for their success.” The trustee Budget and Finance Committee believes the long-term success of a grade selling program would exponentially increase the budget, allowing for a more robust campus and for more professors and more aid for lower-class students. They concluded their report by saying, “This program may not balance the budget immediately, but once wealthy students are aware that St. Lawrence will allow them to make the most of their college experience, unshackled from exams and papers, they’ll come in droves.”

A survey will be circulated to students in the coming weeks to gauge the market for grades. Several packages will be offered: everything from one-time payments for an A in a tough class to a premium package ensuring a summa cum laude diploma with a 4.0 transcript. Additional packages are also being considered, such as J-Board immunity and luxury housing.

Get real time updates directly on you device, subscribe now.

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.

404 Not Found

404 Not Found


nginx/1.18.0
buy metronidazole online