“I’ll pee in a public bathroom, but I’ve got to hold it until I get home to poop.” I’ve heard variations of this statement over and over again from people of all sorts throughout my many years discussing bathrooms and pooping. (The social aspects of pooping and the bathroom are a perennial interest of mine that began in early childhood.) 

So why do so many suffer the pain and anxiety of holding in a turd for home turf? 

Some miss the familiarity and privacy of their own bathroom; others, especially since COVID, fear the foreign germs in public spaces. Most common, I’d wager, is our discomfort with the private and intimate act of pooping being seen or heard by strangers. 

I’m here, however, in defense of pooping in the humble public bathroom and its many, often overlooked, virtues.  

Between work and class and busy social lives, a few minutes on the porcelain throne are often the only moments of true peaceful reflection that we get in our day. The boss or professor that denies our bathroom access is very rare and, as an excuse for a moment of peace, the public bathroom is always there for us. For many, pooping is an act of meditation or prayer and need not be confined to the home. The bowel movement is a beloved moment, a purging of waste, a unification of body and mind. The public bathroom is a shrine to the inner peace that anchors us through the storm. 

Our home bathrooms are amazing personal and private spaces of comfort, but the public bathroom allows us to expand our fecal horizons. We encourage each other to try new foods and activities; St. Lawrence’s abroad programs push students out of their comfort zones. We value the familiarization with the new and the other, and with good reason; it expands our minds. Why can’t we think about pooping the same way? 

Much like to a gourmand, each new restaurant is an adventure, no matter the quality of the service and food nor the cleanliness of the kitchen. Each new bathroom can be an adventure to the open-minded bathroom connoisseur. At best, a new safe haven is discovered. At worst, a lesson is learned and a funny story is born. Either way, you can appreciate a moment of zen and the relief of freshly voided bowels. 

Some may criticize public bathrooms for harboring germs; I would like to remind germ motivated naysayers that your phone is dirtier than your toilet seat and that many public bathrooms are professionally cleaned daily (something that cannot be said for our home bathrooms.) Some may think that I am joking; I assure you that I write with the utmost sobriety and respect. Bathrooms and the bodily activities performed therein are taboo and a serious discussion about these subjects is rare. If what I write tickles your funny bone, by all means laugh, but know that I mean everything I say. 

Many people have very legitimate reasons not to poop in public bathrooms (such as trauma, autoimmune deficiencies, etc.) I am not here to encourage people to do anything that would endanger their well-being. However, if you are a home-pooper and this article has intrigued you, I encourage you to get out of your comfort zone and treat yourself to a peaceful poop in a public bathroom. 

Remember that a layer of toilet paper laid upon the water prevents toilet backsplash and please flush, wash your hands, and stop holding your poop!